3 REASONS WE ALL NEED TO BE LISTENED TO
IT IS NATURAL TO WANT TO SHARE YOUR STORY, BUT IT IS NOT EASY TO FIND SOMEONE THAT REALLY LISTENS.
It really hurts when we aren’t listened to, especially when we strive to share our experience and want support from others.
WE NEED YOU TO BE A GOOD LISTENER BECAUSE:
1. We need to be taken seriously
We learn growing up whether our ideas and stories are taken seriously or cast aside. We quickly adapt when we realize when someone values what we say and are drawn to them. When we are not heard, or our opinions are not taken seriously we increasingly become frustrated and can often shut down. To experience overall well-being an individual needs to have their thoughts, their perspective, and opinions seriously.
As we try to tell our health stories to others, one of the scariest moments is not being taken seriously. A healthcare provider that listens not just to our symptoms, but to who we are as a whole and listens intently will build trust and openness with the patient.
2. We need someone to bear witness to our experiences
Each individual experiences a unique world that can only be understood through their lens and the only way we can share our perspective is through communication. Many people find it difficult to share their most vulnerable thoughts and stories, often because in those vulnerable moments they assess if they are accepted by others or rejected.
A good listener is a witness without judgment or attempting to resolve. Often we have the resolution in ourselves, but just need to communicate outwardly to reflect and take action. A good listener will allow for someone to speak and through reflective questioning help individuals find their own solutions.
Since our relationship with food and our health is deeply personal, it can be a part of us that we don’t communicate with many people. Our relationship with food is laced between our joyful moments and our saddest times. We need someone to bear witness to our health journey, the good times and the bad times, this will allow for growth and open the door for greater wellbeing.
3. We need to be acknowledged and validated
Being able to share our life’s experiences with others is one of the only ways for us to discover if we are understandable and acceptable. As we discuss parts of our stories that are difficult for other people to understand, one of the best feelings is when someone listens and acknowledges but our perspective, feelings, and thoughts are a part of our truth.
FOR NUTRITION PROFESSIONALS
In a conversation, there is a listener and a talker. Your role as a nutrition counselor is to be the listener. If you find your self talking most of the counseling session, you may be providing nutrition education not nutrition counseling.
Your goal is to support individuals to open up and share their story about their relationship with food. You can do this by guiding them with thoughtful open-ended questions so that you dive deeper into what they value, what motivates them, and how you can support them. Some people don’t have anyone to really share this part of their lives with, so you hold a crucial responsibility to be that person that bears witness to their relationship with food. Take this responsibility seriously and listen attentively.
Edible Psychology’s reflections from the recommended book:
Nichols, M. P. (1995). The lost art of listening: How learning to listen can improve relationships. New York: Guilford Press.
